Die Empty

This is a book that I actually first picked up due to a recommendation from a reader named Gary (thanks Gary!). I added it to my reading list and my wife was kind enough to pick it up when she went to the library with the kids.

I really like the book. It’s on a subject that is very meaningful to me, which is fighting the pull of mediocrity to do something difficult and worthwhile with your life. This is one of those books that you need to pick up when you find your motivation waning.

The quote that best sums up the book is this one, which also references the title: “The cost of inaction is vast. Don’t go to the grave with your best work inside you. Chose to die empty.”

As a random note, I really liked having the feel of a physical book in my hands. I am writing this review in April of 2018 and I have read 20 books so far this year, but only two of them were physical books. Nine of them have been audio books and the other eight were on Kindle. I love the convenience of my Kindle, and consider it to be the second most pleasurable reading experience out there, but books are still the best.

Here are the notes that I took:

• “Alas for those that never sing, But die with all their music in them.” -Oliver Wendell Holmes, the Voiceless
• “But work encompases much more than just how we make a living. Any value we create that requires us to spend our time, focus, and energy–whether in the context of occupation, relationships, or parenting–is work.”
• “Humans, it seems, are wired to find satisfaction by adding value through toil.”
• “We live with the stubborn illusion that we will always have tomorrow to do today’s work. It is a lie.”
• “The price of regret is incalculable.”
• “As painful as it can be, unfairness is baked into every aspect of life, and to make a contribution and empty yourself of your potential, you have to come to terms with it and refuse to be a victim.”
• “Cultivating a love of the process is key to making a lasting contribution.”
• “…the love of comfort is often the enemy of greatness.”
• “The cost of inaction is vast. Don’t go to the grave with your best work inside you. Chose to die empty.”
• “The average man does not know what to do with his life, yet wants another one which will last forever.” -Anatole France
• Many people suffer from “purpose paralysis” the fear of getting their purpose wrong
• “Your legacy is built one decision at a time.”
• “For the purposes of this book, I will define work as any instance where you make an effort to create value where it didn’t previously exist.”
• “The key to long-term success is a willingness to disrupt your own comfort for the sake of continued growth.”
• The three forms or work: mapping, making, meshing
• Mapping is the “work before the work” where you set priorities and objectives
• Making is actually doing the work. This is what comes to mind when you think of work
• Meshing is “the work between the work” that makes you effective. It consists of activities that stretch and grow you
• Mapping + Making + Meshing = Developer
• Mapping + Making – Meshing = Driver
• Making + Meshing – Mapping = Drifter
• Meshing + Mapping – Making = Dreamer
• “Only those who risk going to far can possibly find out how far one can go.” -T.S. Eliott
• “No one charts a course for mediocrity, yet it’s still a destination of choice.”
• “It is action that creates impact, not knowledge alone”
• The “Seven Deadly Sins of Mediocrity” (Acronym ABCDEFG): Aimlessness, Boredom, Comfort, Delusion, Ego, Fear, Guardedness
• “The cure for boredom is intentional and applied curiosity”
• “The inherent problem with the advice ‘follow your passion’ is that it frames the conversation as if you were the center of the world, or as if a state of joy, bliss, or fulfillment is the objective of life. When this is your mindset, you’re starting off with the wrong question, and will ultimately spend your life chasing the next buzz when things get dull. The most fulfilled people I’ve ever encountered in the marketplace approach their work in any context with the question ‘what value can I add?’ rather than ‘what can I get?’They choose worthy battles, the engage in them with everything they have.”
• He mentions that “passion” comes from a Latin root for suffering or enduring. Instead of “following your passion” by asking what you enjoy, ask yourself what you are willing to suffer for.
• “Everything has been said before, but since nobody listens, we have to keep going back to the beginning all over again” – -Andre Gide
• “As a child, curiosity comes naturally. Even though the pursuit of knowledge is work, it doesn’t feel like work.”
• His phrase for highly productive but mentally stagnant individuals: “the busily bored”
• “The solution to the dilemma? Reclaim curiosity by embracing an engagement mind-set rather than and entertainment mind-set.”
• “As odd as it sounds, it can be beneficial to disconnect from certain sources of information and streams of content so that you can cultivate a more curated flow of inspiration. You get to play the role of curator in your own life and creative process. When you become more selective about where you spend your valuable attention, you cultivate the capacity to notice the subtleties of life and apply new observations to your work. This requires a commitment to the discovery process and  active pursuit of possibility. You can’t just wait around for inspiration to strike–you have to aggressively pursue it by asking probing questions and mining your environment for the raw materials of brilliance.”
• “To avoid becoming one of the busily bored, you need to stoke the fires of your curiosity by addressing its two forms: specific (diving deep into topics of interest)and diversive (exploring possibilities through purposeful questioning).”
• Keep a running list of questions and set aside time to pursue answers
• “The next great idea for your work will probably not come from your competitors, but from taking an insight from an unrelated industry and applying it to your own.”
• Have a “sacred space” where you do nothing but create, pursue things that evoke your sense of wonder, and bring forth “what you are and what you might be” (that part is a quote from Joseph Campbell)
• “To make something valuable is to first say yes, then to sort out the details on the other side.”
• 3 types of goals: step, sprint, stretch
• A step goal is short-term, often daily, that helps you maintain progress even if it’s small.
• A sprint goal is a medium term (eg 1-2 weeks) goal that causes you to go beyond yourself for a season to increase your capacity
• A stretch goal is a long-term goal that causes you to go far beyond your comfort zone
• “You cannot pursue greatness and comfort at the same time.”
• “When you look back on your life, the moments you will be the most proud of will likely be the ones where you stepped out of your comfort zone in the pursuit of something you believed in.”
• “The only thing we have to bring to community is ourselves, so the contemplative process of recovering our true selves in solitude is never selfish. It is ultimately the best gift we can give to others.” -Parka Palmer The Active Life
• To avoid a rut: set an alarm for each hour of the workday. When it rings, evaluate if the work is really what you should be doing and if its helping you become the type of person you aspire to be.
• You need a balance between introspection and flow.
• Values are great, but are passive. You need an active code of ethics.
• “He (Jerry McLaughlin) says that we are culturally trained to look for an A+ answer, but in his experience, McLaughlin says there often aren’t answers. Instead, it’s more about moving forward in the face of uncertainty.”
• Mindset differences between confidence and ego: “I can get this right” vs “I can do no wrong,” “I’m valuable” vs “I’m invaluable,” “strategic compromise is essential” vs “bend to me always,” “my track record indicates experience” vs “my track record indicates invincibility,” “I’n not explaining it well” vs “you don’t get me.”
• “Great work results when you stop doing what you know you can do and instead begin pursuing what you believe you might be able to do with a little focused effort.”
• A creative environment necessitates that there will be conflict among team members, and to a certain extent, this conflict is a good thing. Team members should persist in defending their position until there is clearly a winning idea, then they should back off and live to fight another day.
• “We need to fall in love with the process, not just the end product of our work.”
• The “lag”: “The lag is the gap between cause and effect. It is the season between planting a seed and reaping the harvest. It’s the time when all the work you’ve done seems to have returned little to no visible reward, and there is little on the horizon to indicate things are going to get better.
• There’s nothing wrong with quitting as long as it’s a strategic choice that’s part of moving toward something that’s better, not just running away from discomfort. You should never quit because of the pain of the lag.
• “Selfish generosity” – a term used by Chris Guillebeau. Focus on making your contribution and as you engage, you will benefit.
• “Our definition of failure defines us more than we may realize. because fear of failure is one of the most frequent sources of paralysis. When the perceived threat of potential consequence outweighs the perceived benefits of success, we stop acting.”
• Many people are stuck in bad circumstances even though they know what to do because they are afraid to make decisions. They are deferring the discomfort of action.
• “Ultimately, your life will be measured by what you gave, not what you received.”

This book is definitely worth a read. You can get it here: